I'm a Sponge
I absorb stress, not knowledge (honest thoughts on harvest + photos) || July 2026 newsletter 🌱
Hey friends,
We’re in the thick of harvest, and things are going well. The crop isn’t the best, but it’s not terrible either. I’m in the usual ebb and flow of stress and tension, gratefulness and pride. I never know how to properly explain this season to anyone outside of agriculture. Because when I tell you something went wrong, like a piece of equipment breaking, it’s not because of a lack of planning or that we don’t know what we are doing. But there are so many moving parts and things happening that something will inevitably go wrong along the way.
I’m not sure if this is a stereotypical female thing, or specific to my personality—but I pick up on all the emotions around me, the highs and the lows, the good and the bad. It can leave me in a constant state of butterflies in my stomach this time of year, worrying about everything and everyone.
Three nights ago, after I brought dinner to the field, my father-in-law mentioned that one of the bulls had gotten out and was away from water, and he was going to try to get him back in. I asked him if he wanted help, thinking he probably would say no; that he had it under control. But he said, “Sure, that would be great.”
He took off on a four-wheeler, and I grabbed another ATV with Nora in my passenger seat, and we headed out to the pasture. We located the bull and started to push him toward the water. It would have been a much simpler job if the bull understood that we were trying to help him. But he’s an animal and didn’t want to do what we wanted him to.
The temperatures have been brutal in the last week, reaching over 100 degrees. The bull had left the pasture he was supposed to be in, where he had a constant supply of water. And out on the prairie, there aren’t many water sources around. My father-in-law had turned on a spring nearby, and we were trying to push the bull toward that.
The closer we got to the water, and the less the bull wanted to move, the higher the tensions got. Many of you reading this have probably never moved a 1,500-pound bull with your father-in-law before. It got a little stressful, but it wasn’t my first rodeo.
After a while, I suggested to my father-in-law that I go to our employee’s house nearby to get a bucket of water and bring it back to the bull to drink. He agreed that would be a good idea, so I jumped into one of the vehicles and took off down the road. I quickly found a bucket outside and filled it with a hose. I drove back to the pasture, trying not to spill too much water out of the bucket.
When I got there, we put the bucket on the ground in front of the bull. At first, he walked past it, but eventually, he found the water right in front of his nose. He quickly drank the water. My father-in-law picked up the bucket and then dropped it on the ground a few feet in front of the bull, who took a few steps forward, smelling the empty bucket. We did this several times, coaxing him forward, until finally, he stopped believing there was water.
I grabbed the empty bucket and ran to the spring, mere feet in front of us, and scooped water into the bucket with my hand. I brought the bucket back to the bull, and he drank it, and we continued to lure him forward. Once he got to the spring, he dipped his head in and gulped the cold water.
All of this happened while the rest of the crew was out in the harvest field, my husband unaware of the adventure I was on.
The following night, while I was cleaning up the kitchen, I heard on the two-way radio that one of the semis broke down in the middle of the road. A few days later, a belt broke on one of the combines.
This is farm & ranch life; there is always something going on. This is a stressful time of year, and everyone is running on little sleep. Everyone is human. Which sometimes results in tensions flaring. There are conversations that happen, things that aren’t my story to tell.
My husband has an easier time of letting things roll off his back. He’ll get upset about something, but then he’s over it. But I’m like a sponge, absorbing all of it around me—even when it doesn’t directly involve me. And it takes time for me to wring it out.
In the coming weeks, most of my conversations with Rich will be brief, some over text, some in exchanged eyebrow raises at dinner in the field. He often leaves in the morning before I get up, and gets home when I’m already asleep.
We both face different struggles and challenges this time of year. And sometimes, the distance between us will feel as vast as the Montana sky.
When Rich came home from the field the night of the bull incident, I was still awake, and I told him about the evening’s events. I told him I ripped my shorts on the barbed wire fence. There’s no real lesson there, except: I’m glad I was wearing shorts from Target, not my new Vuori ones.
Real farm wife problems.
I’ll never know quite what it feels like to hold the weight of harvest, and he doesn’t know what it feels like to hold the weight of managing the home and the isolation & loneliness I sometimes face during this season. But we do see it; we see each other’s struggles. And I think that’s the most important part—seeing each other.
And I know that this is just a season. It won’t last forever.
Farm Happenings
We started harvesting last week, and the first day we hit temps over 100°, which no one appreciated. It’s been hot the whole week, and we are supposed to hit 108° tomorrow with wind, which, if that happens, we will shut down, as the risk of fire is too great.
We have a great crew who also eat a lot. Even though bringing dinner out to the field each night is a lot of work, I take pride in making a good meal and seeing everyone rest and eat a hot meal after a long day in the field. I’m happy to do this part for them.
So far, I’ve made meatloaf & mashed potatoes, ham & cheese sliders, taco casserole, lasagna, pulled pork sandwiches (in the oven for tonight), and I tried a new meal: loaded baked potatoes with homemade chili & other toppings. The crew gave it a thumbs up, and said I should add it to my regular meal rotation.
Up next: More harvest! 🌾
Things I’m Loving . . .
I listened to The Shippers by Katherine Center, and it was a fun, summery read. I also listened to Love You More by Emily Giffin. It wasn’t my favorite, but it got me through preparing & cleaning up two harvest meals! I slowly made my way through The Shampoo Effect by Jenny Jackson. Honest thoughts: I didn’t love it.
“Let’s live big, beautiful, deeply well lives, and let’s not shrink down our language to fit into our tiny pocket machines. There are no hacks for this kind of life—and that’s the magic of it.” - On Beauty and Wellness by Shauna Niequist
Right before harvest, we took a short family trip to the Flathead Valley in Montana. It’s one of my favorite places, and we only live a few hours away, yet we aren’t always able to make it there every year. I grew up visiting nearly every summer with my family, so it’s fun to take my own kids back to a place that I have lots of childhood memories. Rich was only able to stay for two days, but the kids and I stayed a couple of days longer, and my mom & sister & one of her kids came, and we took the kids into Glacier National Park and spent a day at the nearby waterslides. The kids had an absolute blast and slid from start to closing, only stopping when they were forced to quit because the park closed.
While on the trip, I found this brand of sunscreen I had never seen before.1 As someone who hates wearing sunscreen, I’ll do anything to trick myself into thinking wearing sunscreen is fun & fancy! I bought this Chardonnay sunscreen oil & this Chardonnay lip oil.
A couple of weeks ago, a friend and I took her kids & mine to Toy Story 5, and I absolutely loved it. The first Toy Story came out when I was 11, so it was wild to be watching another movie in the franchise with my own kids, and my oldest being 11. The movie made me laugh & weep a few times, and I loved the premise of technology & toys.
My big kids loved The Little House on the Prairie reboot on Netflix. I watched snippets of it with them, but haven’t watched it all the way through yet. Admittedly, I didn’t watch the original show; I preferred the books. (And still do!) But I loved seeing the kids watch and enjoy something other than the dumb stuff kids watch. (Looking at you, YouTube Shorts!)
My friend, Katie Kelley’s newest book comes out next week! I got an early copy, so I had to take it to the field for some photos! Every book needs a pic with a field of barley, right?
Last June, I submitted an essay to a contest, and by January, I assumed it wasn’t selected as one of the winners and forgot about it. Last week, I received a newsletter from the publication and was shocked to see my name listed as one of the finalists in the non-fiction category. They do not publish the essays of the finalists, only the winners. I may share the essay here in the future, or keep it for another project.2
A short snippet I wrote & shared on Substack a couple of weeks ago.
My zinnias are finally starting to bloom. I planted a couple of different times, so they are all in different stages of growth. We’ll see how they turn out in the coming weeks when they are all in full bloom.
Hopefully, we’ll get to sneak in a day or two at the lake in August. But most of what remains of summer will be spent in the field. And I’ll do my best to enjoy it, the good & the hard, and try to throw up more prayers than I hold onto worry.
Keep growing,
-S
I found the same brand at Target the following week, so it wasn’t as vacation fancy as I thought. ;)
If you’ve been here for a while, you may recognize the title of the essay. It is a new essay, one I haven’t shared before, based on a story I have told before. The kids refer to that part of the basement as “The Snake Room.” Thankfully, no snakes have resided there for several years.
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I truly cannot imagine making meals for so many people on a regular basis, so you’re kind of my hero. Congratulations on being a finalist!! That’s awesome! I love that you have seen people believe in your work so much recently!
I can totally relate to the feeling of absorbing the emotions around you. There’s something about harvest and about this time of year that can be really hard to explain, but every emotion is really heightened and things can be really tender and raw. There’s just so much pressure and when you’re an emotional barometer you feel all of it, the good and the bad. I’ve been struggling in the heat and the smoke too, it’s felt really relentless!