Tending to the Weeds
in farming, motherhood, and marriage || May Newsletter
We’re in the busy season between seeding and haying, then shortly after, it will be harvest—but this is not a season I talk much about. Mainly because it’s not very exciting; it’s not the thrill of getting the seeds into the fertile ground. Or the season of harvest, where we see the hours and months of work pour into the grain bins. Or the season with cute calves running around.
We’re in the season of tending to the weeds.
Weeds are pesky; they don’t need much water to thrive, so they find a way to grow even during a drought. And their way is by squeezing the life out of the crops growing around them. If the weeds aren’t taken care of, they will take all the available water and nutrients in the soil. If the weeds are allowed to flourish, the crop will suffer.
This time of year, Rich spends many hours scouting the fields, watching the crops' growth vs. the weeds' growth. Then he spends many hours spraying the fields1 to keep the weeds from overtaking what he hopes to harvest.
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I’ve been working on an essay for almost a year and have yet to find a home for it. The essay is about many things, but the story boils down to this: there are many weeds I’ve allowed to grow in my heart. From my resentment when I can’t just up and leave the house like my husband... to the loneliness I sometimes feel being home in the middle of nowhere with one to three children… to how easily I sometimes snap at the kids.
I’ve spent the last couple of weeks in a funk, bitter at times. For a while, I was on a high coming off the end of seeding, and I felt proud of my small contributions to the season—bringing meals to the field. But now, it feels like I’m on a hamster wheel, Groundhog’s Day, if you will. Rich still works long hours, and my days often feel the same. Even the weekends don’t feel much different, save for most Sundays when he doesn’t work.
And lately, it’s been easier to water the weeds in my life and to let them harden my heart, all while crushing the healthy plants growing around me—my kids, my husband, and yes, this life that sometimes makes me feel this way.
Bitterness does not need much water to grow.
In the demanding and tough seasons, I keep waiting for the weeds to stop growing on their own. I don’t want to do the backbreaking work of pulling them. I want to walk around, seeing the beautiful green and vibrant colors of the flowers blooming—without any effort on my part.
With each rejection I’ve received on this essay, I’ve not only been disappointed in myself as a writer but as the mom in the story.
I don’t want to be that mom.
And I can’t help but wonder if God is nudging me to tend to the weeds before I try to put the story into the world again. While the story will still be the same, I hope I’m not the same person who started the essay last summer—which will take time and effort. More effort than some clicks on my keyboard.
Farmers have to spray their crops every season; it’s not something we can do once and then never do again. The weeds will keep coming back if we allow them.
Tending to the weeds isn’t a glamorous part of farming, motherhood, or marriage, but it’s necessary work to reap the harvest.
Farm Happenings
We finished seeding earlier this month! It was a grind for a couple of weeks, but we are done. We’ve been in a drought for the last two years, going on three. Right now, the fields and pastures are greening up, and for that, we are grateful. We are still hoping and praying for more rain, but only time will tell what this year is like.
Although the big push of seeding is done, there’s still plenty of fieldwork to be done. As well as gearing up for the next season. And there’s still the occasional last-minute call for dinner to the field from my farmer.
The ranch crew finished AI’ing the cows and heifers earlier this month too. And now the bulls are out with the cows doing their job. The crew started hauling the cow/calf pairs to summer pasture this week. One herd will stay at the home ranch.
Next up: haying!
Lately, I’m . . .
Reading: The Happy Place by Emily Henry. This was an easy listen, but not my favorite book. I also read and absolutely loved You Could Make This Place Beautiful by Maggie Smith. Highly recommend.
Watching: Air: A Story of Greatness on Amazon Prime. I’m not a huge basketball fan, but I did grow up in the 80s / 90s, so of course, I am familiar with Michael Jordan. Rich and I watched this together, and both really enjoyed it. From the cast to the soundtrack to the story, it was really well done.
Wearing: these comfy and cute shorts from Sam’s Club that I wear around the house. #thisis39
Cheering: for all the teachers, paras, bus drivers, and staff as we near the finish line of another school year. And especially for my kiddos, who are onto 1st and 3rd grade (what?!) this fall!
Cooking: these comfort meatballs from my girl, PW. (Someday, we’ll be besties.) I brought these out to the seeding crew in the field, along with mashed potatoes.
Baking: Nora’s third birthday cake (pictured below). I cannot believe she is already three years old. Some days it feels like just yesterday she was born in the front seat of the pickup.
Writing: not much, other than random thoughts and starts and stops to stories I keep adding to my Google Doc titled “Garbage.”
Singing: this song by Morgan Wallen. (I’m late to the game on listening to his music, but here I am.)
Listening: to the conclusion of the Your Own Backyard podcast. I know not everyone enjoys true crime, but this series about Kristin Smart is so well done from a storytelling aspect. Chris Lambert’s voice—both metaphorically and literally—led to the arrest and conviction of her killer 25 years after she went missing.
Sharing: this essay I wrote for The Mom Hour, “When Your Motherhood Looks Different From Everyone Else’s.”
Buying: myself a new pair of Birks for the summer. My other pair of Birkenstocks are getting worn out, and I’m excited about this new style!
Happy May! Well, I guess it’s almost June now. My kids get out of school this week, and we are headed to visit my parents out of state for a week of swimming lessons in June. (Swimming lessons when we only have to drive five minutes to the pool is my best rural mom hack.)
I’ll be back next week with a Rural Woman interview!
Many farmers choose to use chemicals to keep weeds and pests from destroying their crops and to add more nutrients to the soil. There are three different kinds of pesticides; herbicides, insecticides, and fungicides. All three of these pesticides are used to kill different kinds of pests that can be found on a farm.
Wow, once again taking words straight from my heart that I didn't even know were there until I read yours. You have a beautiful way of describing things. Walking right alongside you and trying to remember to tend to the weeds.
Ugh, those nasty weeds we ignore and they just get bigger and then finally we realize we have to do the hard work of acknowledging them and pulling them out. It's very unglamorous but so necessary for joy. Thanks for this picture Stacy! It's very convicting! Which is good 😊