Rural Women Cultivating a Life They Love: An Interview with Natalie Kerfoot
"I grew up with a loving family. Looking from the outside, I had no reason to suffer from depression, yet I did."
Natalie and I connected through Instagram a few years ago, and we were able to meet in person for the first time last year at the Women in Agriculture conference I co-organized!1 She lives in Montana on a farm/ranch and is a school counselor,2 a wife, and a mom of two boys.
Natalie also runs an online boutique and shares about mental health on her social media—which is one of the reasons I wanted to share her story. Statistics show that Rural Americans have a higher rate of depression, and suicide rates are 64-68% higher in rural counties versus their urban counterparts. Unique factors of rural life that contribute to these stats include a weakening agricultural economy, financial instability, and a solitary lifestyle.3
While those numbers can be discouraging, Natalie’s story is full of hope too. I know you’ll be just as encouraged by her words as I was.
Here’s my interview with Natalie.
Natalie, I’ve titled this interview series “Rural Women Cultivating a Life They Love.” You appear to embrace rural life and are positive about this life. Have you always felt that way? Or have you had to make adjustments over the years to love a rural life?
I have always loved rural life. From a very early age (it’s written in the pictures), I was near a cow, a calf, a horse, a dog, or just outside on the ranch. My earliest memory of falling in love with not only agricultural life but my dad was when he took me with him in the grain truck. He must’ve had to deliver grain to an elevator, but I don’t remember where or how long of a trip it was. I just remember having to get up early in the morning (it was still dark outside) and my mom handing me my little thermos of hot cocoa. I wish I could remember more about that trip.
There was always a great sense of pride for me when I got to help out. Even to this day, I still beam with that pride when I come home dirty and ready for a hot shower from a day of work on the farm or ranch. There is no better feeling.
You work as a school counselor and share about mental health on your Instagram. What made you want to share about mental health? Why is it important to talk about, especially in agriculture?
Looking back, I now know what was happening to that 16-year-old. Like so many, I suffered from depression. I carried it, riding the rollercoaster for several years before it became severe a year after our second son was born.
I feel my purpose is to share my mental health journey to help others. I am not embarrassed about it. It does not define me—it’s just a part of my story. I know 100% that my faith and daily exercise have been a part of my healing journey. When I was first diagnosed with depression, I was put on medication, and counseling was recommended. That was more than 15 years ago when mental health illnesses were still unfamiliar—almost taboo. I didn’t seek counseling for that reason, but after receiving my master's in school counseling and my certification in Teen Mental Health First Aid, I now know the importance of counseling. It is an essential part of treating it.
It wasn’t until three years after my diagnosis that I realized the power of prayer and exercising was helping me in my recovery. To this day, I continue to do both.
I do wish, however, that I would have sought counseling and that I had someone neutral in my healing journey. I don’t want the road to recovery to be as difficult for others as it was for me. That is why I share my story via social media.
I would love to reach others by speaking at in-person events. Perhaps that will be in my future. Until then, I will continue sharing the message and my story on Instagram and Facebook to let others know there is help. There is hope. It is okay not to be okay. You are resilient. Nothing is permanent. This message is just as important for the loved ones supporting those that suffer from mental illness.
Living rurally, the mentality is still to pull up your bootstraps and deal with it. Cowgirls don’t cry. Rural communities—Montana in particular—are hit hardest with a lack of education and services concerning mental health illnesses. I think it’s getting better, but we still have a long way to go.
That’s why I share. I’m rural. I grew up with a loving family. Looking from the outside, I had no reason to suffer from depression, yet I did.
You and your husband are now empty nesters! My kids are still young, but I’ve noticed my role shifting over the years from having babies to toddlers to school-aged kids. What advice do you have for rural moms whose kids are still young? What, if anything, would you do differently if you could go back to the years when your kids were little?
Oh, my gosh, I’m typing through the tears on this one! Life gets so busy, but don’t miss an opportunity to hang out with your kids! Go to all of their events. Always say goodnight—no matter how old they are. There was always a hug and a kiss, and I love you goodnight. Non-negotiable!
Keep them off of digital devices as long as you can. I know how handy they can be and, in some cases, life-saving, but make them wait until they are older to carry around a cell phone.
If I could go back and do things differently, I would have them pick something they liked and help them become really good at it. My boys were involved in a lot—sports, clubs, school activities, etc.—which is great! But my husband and I often discussed that we wished we would’ve contributed more to helping them strive to become really good at something they enjoyed—even if it meant more sacrifice for us. We sometimes feel bad about that.
A few years ago, you started an online boutique. I love seeing other women chase their dreams alongside motherhood and farm/ranch life. What made you want to pursue this? What’s the best thing you’ve learned in this new journey?
My sons got older and needed mom less, and I found myself wanting to connect with other rural women like myself. I knew there had to be others out there like me: an older mom who loves everything about living in the country, loves agriculture but doesn’t make a living from farming or ranching, and wants to share stories of how they have dealt with depression. And so, in prayer, the idea of Rural Tastic came to me: having a platform that showcases other rural women and offers clothes! I love fashion—especially Western fashion—and thought it would be a fun new adventure.
I’ve learned so much about business! I never in a million years would dream that I would be owning and running a business, but here I am doing it. Learning new things makes me feel good and gives me a creative way to share my love for rural life!
What would you tell a rural woman just starting out?
Don’t give up on yourself. We don’t often see other women like ourselves in the limelight, and I think sometimes that makes us feel insignificant, but rural women are significant!
Rural women know how to work hard—so don’t forget to take the time to work on yourself. We get so lost in helping others that we forget the importance of ourselves—our beautiful, determined, gritty, stubborn selves.
There are dreams somewhere in all of us, so saddle up and chase them!
Natalie Kerfoot is a wife, boy mom, school counselor, small business owner, and a farmer/rancher’s daughter. Natalie is blessed to live on the farm/ranch she grew up on and loves hiking the cow trails of home with her two dogs, Stef and Rocky. She has found a new joy in creating things digitally and hopes to offer some of her creations in the near future. Natalie is passionate about sharing her mental health and faith journey with anyone willing to listen. She is a certified instructor for Teen Mental Health and hopes to be a part of ending the stigma surrounding mental health illnesses. You can connect with Natalie on Instagram, Facebook, or her online boutique, Rural Tastic.
If you liked this interview, be sure and read my other Rural Women interviews with Katelyn Duban, Katelyn Larson, Cara Stolen, Jessalyn Ritland, Sara Hollenbeck, and Lara d’Entremont.
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Once upon a time (pre-farm life), I was a high school counselor. It’s always fun meeting other people in this profession!
If you or someone you know is suicidal or in emotional distress, dial 988 for 24/7 support.
You meet the neatest people and do an awesome job with the interview questions. 💕